Big week this week-GUM clinic on friday, oh yessah! Of course it was slightly humiliating when I went in to make an appointment and sitting next to the receptionist was a girl from my year at school on placement. Great, now the whole world knows I have herpes. My dreams are coming true. To make it worse, the receptionist decided to ask if we needed any condoms. To be fair, I think it's a bit late for that.
Decided to surprise my boyfriend at the pub for last orders on his darts night (not a great surprise but you know) and just as my mum drove away, noticed my ex with his back to me. Not only that, he picked it as the perfect moment to come to the bar....as my gayboy was walking round the corner and shouted at me to get him a drink. It's a wonder I don't take crystal meths to be perfectly honest.
Thank God my placement is finished though, I was ready to top myself. There is only so many times you can way babies and watch women breastfeed. I totally want to have a baby. I wonder what would happen if I forgot to take my pill for like, a year or so. This hips were totally made for birthing, even more so now that I've totally fatted up. I really need to lose this weight, I'm feeling very Vanessa Feltz.
My dream this week is to be a Kate Bush tribute act...if someone knows where I can get a Viking outfit, let me know. I'm also planning to marry José Mourinho. I really can't be bothered to work so I think becoming a WAG is my only option. Or I could make a sex video....mmm STI publicity.
Watch this space Hos!
Lola Love-hoe x
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Oh my god!
ReplyDeleteI have herpes too!
lol.